Accomplishment Coaching

I discovered Pema Chodron a few years ago.  She’s an American Buddhist nun and author.  Quite a combination.  In her book,  Comfortable with Uncertainty , one of the chapters really struck me.  It talks about three strategies we use that, however much we believe they work, really sabotage us:

Attacking

We’ve all been with that colleague who’s typical response to the familiar “how was your weekend” question on Monday morning is, “Why didn’t you get that report done on Friday?”  Kind of like the sucker punch your older cousin would give you at family gatherings – doesn’t really do any long-term damage, but it sure hurts in the moment.  Ever wonder what that colleague has left unfinished?  Think about it.

Indulging

Comfort, is what Chodron points to directly.  Comfort with the how many clients you have.  Comfort with how sales have gone or how your engineering team only had to delay the project one day.  Comfort that tomorrow will be the same as yesterday.  The moment you say “I know” or “The economy is having an impact” is the moment you’ve completely embraced your indulgence.

Ignoring

I have a friend who, no matter where we are, stops to pick up trash.  My clear and unconscious action is to simply walk by it.  What’s the difference?  My friend sees that every action he takes has an impact.  I ignore trash on the street largely because I feel it won’t make a difference.  In those moments I’m ignoring the difference I make.  If we take the conversation beyond trash, where else do I ignore making a difference?

An Alternative Strategy – Experience your resistance

There’s a wonderful mechanism that lies toward the base of our brain called the amygdala.  Its primary role is the processing and memory of emotional reactions.  It’s the part of us that creates 100% of our resistance.  You know the resistance to falling, drowning, or being attacked.  It’s the part of us that triggers the automatic reaction that tries to fix the perceived danger. 

It also creates the resistance to change, to being responsible, to making that sales call, to having that difficult conversation, or to believe you actually make THAT big a difference.  And when things don’t go well, it’s the part of us that tries to immediately fix it.

This alternative strategy suggests we don’t fix it – that we simply experience our resistance.  Since most of what we do in business isn’t life threatening (contrary to the story your overly-caffeinated amygdala professes), we might actually learn something by experiencing our resistance.

The next time you react to a situation at work, imagine what new questions you might ask if you simply notice the resistance rather than try to appease it.  What new behaviors might develop if you practiced waiting two or three minutes to respond?  What if you actually noticed how much time and artistry you waste when you protect yourself from doing the real work by checking your email 50 times a day?  How much wisdom would develop and how much ego would go away?

Leadership Practices:

1. Keep a journal for one week.  Record all the times you attack, indulge and ignore.
2. Practice experiencing your resistance.  Actually tell yourself to just sit with the situation for a few minutes.  Write down your experience.
3. Ask a friend or colleague to point out when you react to something.  I.e. have them tell you when you attack, indulge or ignore.  Make sure not to attack them in the process.
4. Look for the wisdom in the immediate situation.  I.e. ask yourself “In this situation, what is there for me to learn and to teach?”

Leadership isn’t something you’re born with or without.  It’s a calling.  You’re more than qualified to accept it.

Happy Lizard Brains,

-Coach Preston

Are you producing or consuming?

If you own a business and have employees, you’ll want to read this.

If you volunteer your time with charitable organizations, schools or other public organizations, you’ll want to read this.

If you’re a “solo-preneur” working to produce results, you’ll want to read this too.

If you engage the media in some way, shape or form, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.  If you respond to direct mail or advertising by clipping your coupons and certificates, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.  If you watch the news and form certain perceptions of the people you see reported about, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.

A training process that, although completely legitimate and okay, is likely doing damage to your ability to produce money, time, power, love, compassion, results, and life.

You may be rolling your eyes and saying to yourself, “Preston has finally gone off the deep end now.”  No problem.  If you are, this would be a good place to stop reading.

Here’s where I’m going with this idea:

In the age of us being bombarded by information, we are involuntarily put in the position of being consumers of this information.  It shows up without us asking for it, at any time, on any day of the month, and in almost any environment.  Through the consistency of this bombardment, we cannot help but be in a training process to consume more.

Can this really be true?  Just ask the neighbors or friends you have who are in the advertising industry.  They’ve built fortunes from you and me being in this training process.

So, I’m not here to bash the advertising and marketing industries.  I’m in business for myself and I work everyday to meet professionals who will consume my services.  It’s how all of us will eat today in some manner.

However, I invite you to get some altitude on the concept and look at it from 50,000 feet rather than 500.

How can being trained as a consumer disrupt or hinder what you’re up to?

Consider that by being trained consistently and reliably as a consumer, we begin to lose our ability to produce.  We learn through this training process that everything is available for us; that it can be delivered right to our door; that if one place doesn’t have what we’re looking for another will.

This training process begins to dissolve our ability and motivation to create.  It has us become lazy, unmotivated, and (here’s the nasty part) slip into the role of irresponsibility or victim-hood.

Yes, victim-hood.

As a business professional and leader, how often do you work with, manage or lead others?  How many people have you found unmotivated, uninspired and, at times, incapable of producing even modest results?

Personally, how often do you notice those characteristics in yourself?

What stands in the way of you and your team producing results isn’t the economy, your prospects, your industry, the weather, the government, your employees or your mother-in-law.  It’s that you, your team, me and most of our culture has been trained to consume rather than produce.  It’s a “what’s in it for me” culture.  This is a great concept to leverage as a marketer, and in my opinion, it’s not a great concept to deal with when working with others to produce results.

Leadership Practices:

So, what can you do, or who can you be, to “un-train” yourself and your team?  Here are a few ideas:

• When you experience an employee doing just enough work to get by, ask “What would be available for you if you took that one, extra step”?
• When you notice your sales team complaining they don’t have enough resources to perform better, ask them “What resource are you able to create to support your efforts”?
• When you see that you consistently get stopped by negative judgments or interpretations of the economy or industry, ask yourself “What am I capable of producing in this moment”?
• When you notice you or your team depending more on hopes, wishes and prayers to make things happen, ask “What are we willing to declare and fulfill upon this week”?

Success isn’t about getting home runs all the time.  That may be what you’ve been trained to understand when you consume the information that’s put out by media and marketing sources.

Success is about getting up to the plate, declaring a result, taking the action aligned with producing that result, and being with whatever result occurs.  Then do it all over again.

Or you can choose to sit in the stands and watch the game and hope the hot dog vendor comes soon to satisfy your hunger.

Happy Producing,

-  Coach Preston

What hole have you dug?

Stan’s business had been booming for years.  Recently it’s been taking a beating.  Clients have been slow to pay, more prospects are saying “no thanks”, and the constant concern of missing payroll keeps him up most evenings.

“What changed?” he kept asking.  “Things were terrific just six months ago.  I just need to dig in and put all my energy into my business.”  Stan spent the next six months toiling in his business with little results, even though he poured everything he had into it.  That’s when he and I met.

How frequently do all of us follow a similar path… we find something’s not working and we “dig in and put all our energy into our business”, then find we dig ourselves a deeper hole?

In my experience working with business owners and professionals, there are two theories as to why this forced myopia method doesn’t work:

1. The myth of individualism
2. Biomutualism

The Myth of Individualism – this myth defines our belief that our success is dependent entirely on ourselves.  In other words, if I’m going to win, it’s all up to me. 

This is truly a myth.  If it weren’t, we’d see millions of sole proprietorships develop into large and profitable organizations regularly.  Instead, we have millions of sole proprietorships, many of whom struggle.

Biomutualism – Although founded in biology, this theory proposes that with biology and another discipline: a) each discipline advances the other, and b) collective discoveries emerge beyond a single field.  In other words, we can produce results AND learn when we embrace diversity and collaboration. 

I want to take this a step further to propose that in the realm of business and self-development, we will produce the results we want if we break out of our tendency toward myopia and individualism.

In Stan’s case, instead of “digging in and putting all his energy into his business”, we had him create a project separate from his business – a fundraising event for a charity he loves.

In the process of developing a team, mapping out the results plan, and engaging his team in taking action to raise money for the charity, his business began to turn around.  What made the difference?

According to Stan, several factors made the difference:

1. The fundraising project forced him to collaborate with a team.  This project demanded a short time frame and Stan knew he couldn’t raise the amount of money he wanted alone in that time frame.
2. The fundraising project required Stan to explore new ways of asking for money by first identifying the myriad of reasons someone would or wouldn’t donate, then revising his approach based on his findings.
3. The fundraising project exposed some of Stan’s “weaknesses” in leadership that he so skillfully hides in his business.  Doing things independently (being a loner), demanding rather than requesting, and operating without a clear and detailed plan would not work.  Those habits had to change or the fundraising project would die.

And they did.  Once Stan started learning what worked in his fundraising project, he began applying that learning to his business.  Eight months later, his business is back on track.

Leadership Practices:

1. Create a project in an area of life that will inspire you – separate from your business.
2. Assess what habits do and don’t support you in your business through self-assessment and the feedback of others.
3. Choose one area of your business in which to collaborate this month.
4. Look for related learning in seemingly disparate areas of your life.

Like Stan, you’ve created success on your own that you can be proud of.  Perhaps the next step to creating breakthrough results lies in diversity and collaboration.

Happy New Perspectives,

- Coach Preston

Where do you stop?

WARNING: This post is a call to action, not a warm and fuzzy.  Read at own risk.

 

Yet again, MSNBC has done a wonderful job in capturing our attention by leveraging that powerful little human emotion called fear… “Older job seekers struggling with age barrier“.

As much as I cringe at what I imagine to be sensationalism, perhaps there is some truth to the story. 

Many folks find themselves out of work these days.  It’s frustrating, exhausting and often depressing.  It seems as though there’s a shrinking inventory of available opportunities as well.  Is there really a light at the end of this tunnel?

Yes there is, but it’s surely not being created by employers.

You see, an article like the MSNBC one paints a picture of employers being the bad guys.  Age, race, religion and gender are just the beginning of possible discrimination.  And, yes it does happen unfortunately.

However, I invite all of us to look at not just the content of this story, but most importantly at the CONTEXT of this story. 

For me, the context is about job seekers being at the effect of circumstances – i.e. age, race, gender, experience, current economy, industry, etc.  Yet, I see a myriad of job postings on the career websites I frequent, talk to many HR folks who say “I’m struggling to fill this open position”, and hear many stories of people finding employment.  So what gives?

Consider that in any situation, context is NOT the truth, but a possible interpretation.

So what if we really took that sentence to heart?  Now what?

Here’s what I mean…

The economy is challenging right now, not just in Detroit, but across the nation.  Finding a job is more complex and requires more time than it used to.  Fear is the most common emotion we experience these days.  But I have one question for you…

Is that where you stop?

Because if you stop, especially in this economy, you’re screwed.  If you stop because you feel that age, gender, race, money, industry, economy or geography is an issue, you will NOT find employment.  What you will do is spend the majority of your time blaming others for your woes.

This applies to me and the rest of the self-employed as well.  None of us can afford to stop now.  Sure, we’ve got about as many external circumstances as we could ever want as evidence to stop, but that will not do.

For those who have found new employment, new clients, new projects and new money have simply not stopped.  They keep going every day, creating the next opportunity, having the next conversation, scheduling the next meeting, reading the next book.  They don’t stop.

Leadership Practices:

In service of building your muscles around not stopping, please answer these questions and consider these actions…

1. What’s that uncomfortable place you just won’t go?
2. By not going there, what story about you is kept in place?
3. Based on that story, what are you really committed to?
4. Write a letter to yourself two years from now, reflecting back on the past two years.  What will your “two years ahead” self be telling your “today” self?
5. What five people will you call today to generate a conversation about possibility?  Do it again tomorrow.  Then again, and again, and again.
6. Create a structure for support to keep you empowered and in action such as our career coaching program.

Your next opportunity may arrive in your lap by surprise, but only after you’ve taken the action to create the circumstances that would have it happen.

Happy Action,

- Coach Preston

Are you a relationship hub?

… I can call on a moment’s notice.

You might not think this applies to you.  However, you might consider otherwise…

Question:  In an emergency, what’s the one thing we all immediately think about? 

Answer:  Can they get here fast enough?

It’s a knee-jerk reaction to experiencing a catastrophe.  We all do it.

But do we all have the resources, connections or relationships to know exactly who to call that will be able to get there “fast enough”?  If we do, we’re in good shape; if we don’t, uh-oh.

Let’s apply this concept to the world of business.  Most days, we’re not faced with emergencies (although that’s an entirely new discussion), but we are faced with challenges and obstacles.  If I don’t have the resources or know the resources to overcome those challenges and obstacles, I might be in trouble.

So what will I do?

Often, I’ll make a phone call or two to a select group of folks I know who are what I call “relationship hubs” = people who seem to know every single resource in the area.  Their spokes are all the other professionals they have a relationship with based on trust and integrity.  I know when I make that call that I’ll be referred to someone who can help.

This is of amazing value as I don’t have to worry about doing the research, wasting time or getting frustrated with a less-than-qualified referral.  I get my challenge or obstacle removed and I’m off to the next thing in my business.

How valuable is that “relationship hub” to me in my business?  More than I can imagine.

Are you a “relationship hub” for your network, business or community?

If not, you’re missing an incredible opportunity to be of service to your clients, friends, family, business associates and community.  And, perhaps most importantly, you’re missing an incredible marketing opportunity.

My “relationship hubs” get my attention on a regular basis.  They are my “go-to” people.  I’m in communication with them regularly.  When they ask for an introduction or referral, I drop what I’m doing and help them.  Do you think they appreciate that?

Becoming a “relationship hub” might just be the most lucrative and charitable initiative you take on this month.

Leadership Practices:

1. Join a BNI, LeTip or other “lead generation” organization.  These are intimate and rigorous groups that meet regularly to build relationships and refer business.  When you join, make sure to create a sub-group of like-minded businesses as some of these groups can be more than 40 people.  Sub-groups (or in BNI parlance, Power Teams) are very effective.
2. Don’t just have your plumber fix your sink; invite him/her out for a coffee.  Get to know their business and them as a person.  Do this with every one of your vendors, coffee shop / restaurant owners, folks at church/synagogue/mosque, and neighbors.
3. Ask everyone you meet “What project are you currently working on or stuck around?”  This gives you the opportunity to refer someone to them to solve their issue.  And best yet, in the process you’re training them that you’re the “go-to” person – the “relationship hub”.

Happy Hubbing,

- Coach Preston