Accomplishment Coaching

One of the guys in my Thursday morning men’s group asked the following question today:

“What will be different for you in 2010?”

I immediately became present to the difference this group has made for me – what a gift it has truly been.  For the past 18 months, I’ve been showing up every Thursday morning to explore my relationships, my faith and myself.  Our weekly conversations always invite me to make a difference rather than just accomplish something.

The New Year is a common time of reflection and promise for accomplishment.  Did you reach your goal(s) for 2009?  What do you want to accomplish for 2010?  As customary this process is, perhaps what’s more familiar is realizing the majority of us don’t reach many of our goals.

So what if following this habitual process strategizing accomplishment was actually the thing holding you back?  What if focusing on what you want to accomplish is actually the Achilles Heel you’re fervently seeking to overcome?

What if this year, rather than asking “what do I want to accomplish”, you ask “what difference will I make?”

What difference will you make if you:

• Took more risk?
• Embrace dangerous authenticity?
• Refuse to stop when confronted with obstacles?
• Create a deliberate and intimate relationship with God / Spirit?
• Forgive those who have caused you pain?
• Give up your insistence in looking good and got messy?
• Give up being separate, right and alone in exchange for creating relationships that make a difference?
• Replace 50% of your busy-ness with reading, walking, laughing, or just sitting still?

Consider taking some of these on.  2010 will be a new year of possibility, relationship and connection.  It will be a year of you making a difference.

Are you willing to accept you actually can and do make a difference?

What a gift that will be to us all.

Happy New Year,

- Coach Preston

Bright moments in presumed darkness

Earlier this week, I was walking to my Wednesday morning men’s group.  About eight of us gather each week to read, discuss and explore our faith.  Walking out my door I suddenly remembered I failed to get the key from the church office the day before. 

Oh, cr#*!  Oh, sh@&!  Oh, (every expletive I could muster)!  How are we going to make this work?  It’s 35 degrees at 6am on a Wednesday morning, and there are seven other guys depending on me to open up the conference center by 6:25am.  And most importantly, have the coffee ready.

So began my search – I figured there would be someone available at the church since the 6:30am Mass was soon to start.  Or a sexton would be there opening up the rest of the church.  Or by some miracle, the conference center door was left open by a previous guest.  Predictably, none of these were the case.

After my fourth trip in and around the church, I let it go.  “Give it up pal”, was all I could say.  I began walking across the street to post a hand-written sign directing folks to go a half-mile down the road to a local coffee shop.  I figured we’d start about 20 minutes late, but at least we’d meet.  I had given up faith in getting into the conference center, but I was determined to have our men’s group happen.

That’s when Jim appeared.  He’s one of the church administrators.  I see him regularly, but never on this side of the church and certainly not at this time of the morning.  I stopped to ask him if he knew of anyone who might have a key.  He smiled, reached into his pocket, handed me a key to the conference center and said, “I guess it’s your lucky day Preston”.  It was 6:21am.

Luck?

I struggle at times to understand why, in the moment we give up control, what we want actually appears; or at least a close version of it.

A friend once shared with me a definition of faith that I’ve never forgotten:

“Faith is the willingness to move forward without any visible sign it will work.”

Yet this is exactly the opposite of what our culture promotes.  The business world is constantly seeking measurements, metrics, data, analytics and historical financials to prove whether or not to take a step forward.  In other words, to prove faith?

I spent some time on LinkedIn Answers yesterday and responded to a question inquiring what “the best ROI metrics to use in analyzing an investment in social media” would be.  It dawned on me that in our quest to research this information, we’ll end up expending more resources trying to find the right answer than actually investing in our objective.

What if we were to actually practice faith in business?  What if we were to take on making bold promises for a future we want to have without seeking evidence if we could actually get there?  For most of us, this not only goes against “conventional wisdom”, but is completely scary.

Alas, perhaps that’s what true leadership really is – making bold promises, inspiring others to take action in service of that future, and holding the vision of what’s now possible once that future is realized.

Leadership Practices:

1. Write out your most outrageously delicious goal on a piece of paper.
2. List all the doubts, judgments and fears you have about making that future a reality.
3. Commit yourself to one or the other: the future you just created or your doubts, judgments and fears.
4. Enroll at least five people in your future – ask them what they’re first step might be if it where theirs.
5. Create a list of one action per day you’ll take to make that future a reality.
6. Ask for support when you feel you’re about to get stuck, not after you get stuck.
7. Relish in the joy of obtaining that future.

I once heard of a man who unrelentingly tried to sell his fried chicken recipe to restaurants; all of whom turned him away.  Based on his ROI, he was destined to fail.

Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Chicken?

Gobble-gobble,

- Coach Preston

Tired of always having the answer?

What questions is your leadership team asking?  Perhaps more importantly, what questions is your leadership team NOT asking?

Your organization’s ability to ask the “right questions” is critical to its success.  Unfortunately, your business, like mine, is likely at the effect of the training and experience each individual has received for years through American academia and culture – the training called having the “right answer”.

We see it daily in our lives:

• Our children are rewarded at school for the highest number of right answers
• Our businesses and organizations reward employees for having the right answers and doing the job correctly
• Our clients pay us handsomely for giving them the right answers
• We spend thousands of dollars a month or year marketing ourselves as “experts” – i.e. the one who has the best answers

So, it’s not surprising to consider that all of us have been programmed to have the “right answers”.

At first glance, having the right answer offers many benefits:

• Students who have more right answers get higher grades
• Workers who can solve problems quickly get more money and promotions
• People are recognized as experts when they have more of the right answers

It would seem that having the right answers is all we need to succeed in life.

Today, I’m going to challenge that belief.  Consider our emphasis on having the right answers actually debilitates us and keeps us small and safe.

You see, when we insist on having the right answers:

• We are attached to being right which drastically narrows our ability to create vision or get altitude (perspective) on situations
• We develop a powerful context of black/white or either/or thinking that kills off tremendous possibility
• We inhibit powerful creativity and access to new perspectives
• We frequently dis-empower our team leading to dissention and confusion

As leaders, we cannot afford to have the right answers. 

Case in point – GM, Chrysler and Ford have all been playing the game of “right answers”.  For years, they’ve been telling us what the best cars are to drive.  For two of those three organizations, that philosophy has led to some incredibly tough times.

So what’s the alternative?

Please take a moment to reflect on the following question:

What’s possible for you, your business and your team if you spent just 20% more time focused on identifying the right questions?

In Germany, major business organizations (Diamler, Siemans, SAP for example), have entire departments dedicated to Grundsatzfragen, meaning “fundamental questions”.  The primary role of this department is to create and discuss fundamental questions.   When many of these companies have been acquired by a US company, the Grundsatzfagen departments have been eliminated.  (Click for attribution and more)

Questions are the life-blood of creativity, reinvention and evolution.  Questions stir vision, purpose and passion.  Questions lead to some of the richest conversations that not only spur collaborative and intimate relationships, but ultimately lead to the most effective “right answers”.

Do you know what question led to the invention of the McDonald’s fast food empire?  Ray Kroc asked, “Where can I get a good hamburger on the road?”  Ray didn’t start with having the right answer.

Leadership Practices:

1. Play a game.  For one week, record the number of times you give people the answer.  Scoring key = 0-3 times – great work empowering questions; 4-6 times – you’ve got some room to practice asking more questions; 7-10 times – congratulations – you’re not only the “answer-man/woman but you’ve effectively eliminated all creativity and have trained your team to be entirely dependent on you! 
2. Practice asking questions that evoke a future vision rather than solve a problem.  For example, “What’s the possibility or opportunity we see inside our overtime situation?” rather than “How do we reduce overtime?”
3. Create a semi-monthly meeting (twice a month) in which you and your leadership DO NOT answer a single question or issue.  Make the sole purpose of this meeting to identify the “right questions” your leadership team needs to be asking.
4. Invite a facilitator in to run a Leadership Cafe for you – it’s a powerful, structured experience that allows you to identify the right questions your oganization needs to be asking.

Giving up always having the answer may not happen overnight, but focusing on the right questions will get you further, create more success and, ultimately, have you develop a more fulfilling business and team.

Happy Curiosity,

-Coach Preston

The power of more

Partnerships are a funny thing.  We seem to love creating them, but it often seems we have real struggles sticking with them.  So what gives?

Rarely intentional, we enter personal and professional relationships without truly considering what’s important for each one of us.  The Gallup Management Journal ran an article last year that identified the three “most important statements in determining how well your abilities mesh with those of your collaborator”:

1. We compliment each other’s strengths
2. We need each other to get the job done
3. He or she does some things much better than I do, and I do some things much better than he or she does

Although this can apply to personal partnerships as well, I wanted to give an example of how this so critically applies to professional partnerships.  Let’s use our old friend, Stan, as an example.

What Stan knows about himself is the following:

He’s created a successful business over the past 12 years primarily because he’s great at fostering relationships, freely expressing compassion, mentoring and developing his staff, being highly self-aware, and upholding integrity. 

But he also realizes that he’s often too narrowly and short-term focused, jumps too quickly to fix symptoms rather than identifying the root problem, and lacks critical decisiveness in taking action.  This often puts him in a position of complying with the views of others and current circumstances.

When I asked Stan who he felt would be a good fit as a potential partner, he suggested he’d look for someone who has a high level of relationship building skills, sees a similar future for the business, and is willing to weather the bumps of partnership.

If we take a look at this more critically, Stan was really looking for someone who was very similar to himself.  Of course he would… he’s built a successful company on the culture he’s created.

But that’s exactly what Stan doesn’t need.

Rather I suggested he look for someone with the following characteristics:

• Willingness to speak powerfully and pointedly, even if he/she occasionally steps on some toes
• Has little interest in the symptoms of business challenges but can see the root-causes
• Maintains daily focus on the five, ten and fifteen year future of the business
• Has a focus and drive for business results and keeps individuals and teams accountable for results
• Regularly displays courageous behavior in making decisions and taking action

At first Stan was completely resistant… “That person will get crushed in my company.”  Eventually, he began to see exactly why that type of partner would be best.  Through interviews with his staff in which he asked what they thought his leadership gaps were, they almost perfectly outlined the above description.

A year later, Stan and his partner Mary have grown the business significantly, hired more effective staff and shifted the company culture from being 100% “nice and friendly” to “nice and friendly AND results-oriented”.

Stan found a business partner who compliments his strengths, keeps him accountable to results, and is able to do what he can’t.  He does the same for Mary.

Powerful partnership is often most effective with clear difference rather than similarity.

Leadership Practices:

1. Schedule interviews with your staff over the next two weeks and ask the following questions:
   1. What do you see are my gaps in leadership?
   2. If you were going to partner me with another leader, what qualities would that leader possess?
   3. What two actions would you assign me to practice more effective leadership?
2. Write out the three top characteristics you bring to the table as a business leader
3. Notice how many times your actions say “I can do this all on my own” – what are the results?
4. Publicly share your gaps with at least two people, and especially with your current business partner

The myth of “individualism” died long ago, but there’s a large contingent of business owners who still buy into it.  If you’re ready for a new level of success, I invite you to consider a partnership or, if already in one, revisit it.

If you (and your partner) are interested in discovering exactly what you do and don’t bring to the table, please contact me to take my Leadership Circle profile.  I’ve found no better profile to support effective partnership development.

Happy Cahoots,

- Coach Preston

Can I trust this?

Yet again, LinkedIn Answers creates fuel for thought.  These three questions were asked recently and brought up a powerful conversation about trust:

There are likely a million ways to answer these.  Here are two:

• “Deciding” to trust is actually an oxymoron.
• Trust is a gift you give, not one you get.

First, if you consider the roots of the word “decision”, you’ll find it’s defined as “to kill” (i.e. “de” = of, “cide” = to kill or killer).  When we “decide” to trust, we actually build a case with evidence of whether someone or something is trustworthy or not.  If we find evidence they are trustworthy, we’ll trust them.  If we find evidence otherwise, we’ll figuratively “kill them off” (not trust them).

Second, consider that we as human beings are actually already related 100% in everyway possible.  We have hearts that love, lungs that energize and dreams that pull us forward.  In other words, we’re the same thing, regardless of culture, skin color or ideology.

But it’s our minds that mess us up, especially around trust.  Our minds create, store and fuel our stories.  Stories about how Bob didn’t do what he said he would when he said he would do it.  Stories about how Sally’s upbringing makes her a mean person.  Stories about how someone did something that didn’t meet my expectation so now they’re untrustworthy.

This is all a farce.  Our stories are simply interpretations of how things went or will go.  Our stories are a completely unreliable source of truth.  Our stories are exactly what keep us from trusting one another.

So, perhaps what there is to do is simply offer our trust as a gift.  When we offer it as a gift, we:

• give our trust without a story
• give our trust without killing anything or anyone off
• build our ability to be with risk
• create powerful relationships
• empower the person we give trust to follow thru without the fear of negative consequences

Yes, trust truly is a powerful tool as is a hammer.  Both can be used to build and to destroy.  Practice giving your trust as a gift and you might be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Leadership Practices:

• Choose three people this week to whom you’ll offer your trust as a gift (i.e. with no expectation of repayment)
• Journal about your experience; the struggle, the doubt, the anxiety, the stories and the results
• Rinse and repeat.

Happy Gifting,

- Coach Preston