Accomplishment Coaching

A plug for two guys who make a world of difference in Detroit…Charlie Wollborg and Terry Bean:

If you’re interested in hearing more than 25 top-notch, local experts unload powerful ideas and insight into business, success and passion, you’ll want to attend Motor City Connect’s Third Annual Birthday Bash this Friday from 1pm to 5pm at the Troy Community Center, 3179 Livernois, Troy, MI 48083.

Please visit http://motorcityconnect.com/expospeakers.html for more information and the speaker line-up.

Happy Networking and Growing,

- Coach Preston

The power of more

Partnerships are a funny thing.  We seem to love creating them, but it often seems we have real struggles sticking with them.  So what gives?

Rarely intentional, we enter personal and professional relationships without truly considering what’s important for each one of us.  The Gallup Management Journal ran an article last year that identified the three “most important statements in determining how well your abilities mesh with those of your collaborator”:

1. We compliment each other’s strengths
2. We need each other to get the job done
3. He or she does some things much better than I do, and I do some things much better than he or she does

Although this can apply to personal partnerships as well, I wanted to give an example of how this so critically applies to professional partnerships.  Let’s use our old friend, Stan, as an example.

What Stan knows about himself is the following:

He’s created a successful business over the past 12 years primarily because he’s great at fostering relationships, freely expressing compassion, mentoring and developing his staff, being highly self-aware, and upholding integrity. 

But he also realizes that he’s often too narrowly and short-term focused, jumps too quickly to fix symptoms rather than identifying the root problem, and lacks critical decisiveness in taking action.  This often puts him in a position of complying with the views of others and current circumstances.

When I asked Stan who he felt would be a good fit as a potential partner, he suggested he’d look for someone who has a high level of relationship building skills, sees a similar future for the business, and is willing to weather the bumps of partnership.

If we take a look at this more critically, Stan was really looking for someone who was very similar to himself.  Of course he would… he’s built a successful company on the culture he’s created.

But that’s exactly what Stan doesn’t need.

Rather I suggested he look for someone with the following characteristics:

• Willingness to speak powerfully and pointedly, even if he/she occasionally steps on some toes
• Has little interest in the symptoms of business challenges but can see the root-causes
• Maintains daily focus on the five, ten and fifteen year future of the business
• Has a focus and drive for business results and keeps individuals and teams accountable for results
• Regularly displays courageous behavior in making decisions and taking action

At first Stan was completely resistant… “That person will get crushed in my company.”  Eventually, he began to see exactly why that type of partner would be best.  Through interviews with his staff in which he asked what they thought his leadership gaps were, they almost perfectly outlined the above description.

A year later, Stan and his partner Mary have grown the business significantly, hired more effective staff and shifted the company culture from being 100% “nice and friendly” to “nice and friendly AND results-oriented”.

Stan found a business partner who compliments his strengths, keeps him accountable to results, and is able to do what he can’t.  He does the same for Mary.

Powerful partnership is often most effective with clear difference rather than similarity.

Leadership Practices:

1. Schedule interviews with your staff over the next two weeks and ask the following questions:
   1. What do you see are my gaps in leadership?
   2. If you were going to partner me with another leader, what qualities would that leader possess?
   3. What two actions would you assign me to practice more effective leadership?
2. Write out the three top characteristics you bring to the table as a business leader
3. Notice how many times your actions say “I can do this all on my own” – what are the results?
4. Publicly share your gaps with at least two people, and especially with your current business partner

The myth of “individualism” died long ago, but there’s a large contingent of business owners who still buy into it.  If you’re ready for a new level of success, I invite you to consider a partnership or, if already in one, revisit it.

If you (and your partner) are interested in discovering exactly what you do and don’t bring to the table, please contact me to take my Leadership Circle profile.  I’ve found no better profile to support effective partnership development.

Happy Cahoots,

- Coach Preston

A familiar form of feedback

Yet another “LinkedIn Answers” gem-of-a-question…

Paraphrased = “Since most of us are entirely incapable of seeing the constraints that hold us back, feedback is an invaluable tool.  It offers a chance to see the constraints and take appropriate action.  But how do you offer feedback that makes a difference rather than frequently upsetting another?”

Here are a few thoughts in response:

1. Consider the constraints we have are actually part of the way we’ve been trained to give feedback.  In other words, one of my constraints is that I love to control.  If that’s operating in the background, it’s likely I’ll offer feedback that has me trying to fix or manipulate the other person (so as to control the situation).  Inevitably, that feedback lands as harsh or critical since what I’m really trying to accomplish (underlying assumption) is to protect myself.  This applies to any version of our constraints.
2. Since our feedback is based primarily on our constraints (per above), what you’ll notice is that the focus of our feedback is actually on ourselves rather than where it should be, on the other person or situation.  In other words, our feedback becomes in service to us rather than in service to the other.
3. Finally, since this is typically how feedback is given, we end up having a less than desirable (at time disastrous) experience with feedback.  This has us avoid both giving and receiving feedback.

So, what is there for us to do?  Here are a few ideas:

1. Get clear on your intention for offering feedback.  Ask, “For what would I want to share A, B, or C with Bob?”  Getting clear on our intention will uncover whether we’re about to offer feedback for our own benefit or the other’s benefit.
2. Practice using this format for giving feedback:
   1. Offer an invitation to give feedback rather than telling someone that feedback is coming (whether they want it or not).
   2. Ask the person, “What worked in this/that situation?”
   3. Then ask, “What didn’t work in this/that situation?”
   4. Then ask, “If you could change two things about how it went, what would they be?”
   5. Acknowledge the person for their intention and action around the situation.  Make sure they are fully acknowledged.
   6. Then provide your feedback on the situation based on: a) the situation, and b) what can be done in the future to improve the process.  In other words, don’t make the feedback be about the person – make it about the situation or their actions/speaking.

By offering feedback in this manner, you’re not offering it from your constraints, but from a look into the future; a future that offers forgiveness, development, second chances and partnership.

Happy Feedbacking,

- Coach Preston

What hole have you dug?

Stan’s business had been booming for years.  Recently it’s been taking a beating.  Clients have been slow to pay, more prospects are saying “no thanks”, and the constant concern of missing payroll keeps him up most evenings.

“What changed?” he kept asking.  “Things were terrific just six months ago.  I just need to dig in and put all my energy into my business.”  Stan spent the next six months toiling in his business with little results, even though he poured everything he had into it.  That’s when he and I met.

How frequently do all of us follow a similar path… we find something’s not working and we “dig in and put all our energy into our business”, then find we dig ourselves a deeper hole?

In my experience working with business owners and professionals, there are two theories as to why this forced myopia method doesn’t work:

1. The myth of individualism
2. Biomutualism

The Myth of Individualism – this myth defines our belief that our success is dependent entirely on ourselves.  In other words, if I’m going to win, it’s all up to me. 

This is truly a myth.  If it weren’t, we’d see millions of sole proprietorships develop into large and profitable organizations regularly.  Instead, we have millions of sole proprietorships, many of whom struggle.

Biomutualism – Although founded in biology, this theory proposes that with biology and another discipline: a) each discipline advances the other, and b) collective discoveries emerge beyond a single field.  In other words, we can produce results AND learn when we embrace diversity and collaboration. 

I want to take this a step further to propose that in the realm of business and self-development, we will produce the results we want if we break out of our tendency toward myopia and individualism.

In Stan’s case, instead of “digging in and putting all his energy into his business”, we had him create a project separate from his business – a fundraising event for a charity he loves.

In the process of developing a team, mapping out the results plan, and engaging his team in taking action to raise money for the charity, his business began to turn around.  What made the difference?

According to Stan, several factors made the difference:

1. The fundraising project forced him to collaborate with a team.  This project demanded a short time frame and Stan knew he couldn’t raise the amount of money he wanted alone in that time frame.
2. The fundraising project required Stan to explore new ways of asking for money by first identifying the myriad of reasons someone would or wouldn’t donate, then revising his approach based on his findings.
3. The fundraising project exposed some of Stan’s “weaknesses” in leadership that he so skillfully hides in his business.  Doing things independently (being a loner), demanding rather than requesting, and operating without a clear and detailed plan would not work.  Those habits had to change or the fundraising project would die.

And they did.  Once Stan started learning what worked in his fundraising project, he began applying that learning to his business.  Eight months later, his business is back on track.

Leadership Practices:

1. Create a project in an area of life that will inspire you – separate from your business.
2. Assess what habits do and don’t support you in your business through self-assessment and the feedback of others.
3. Choose one area of your business in which to collaborate this month.
4. Look for related learning in seemingly disparate areas of your life.

Like Stan, you’ve created success on your own that you can be proud of.  Perhaps the next step to creating breakthrough results lies in diversity and collaboration.

Happy New Perspectives,

- Coach Preston

Where do you stop?

WARNING: This post is a call to action, not a warm and fuzzy.  Read at own risk.

 

Yet again, MSNBC has done a wonderful job in capturing our attention by leveraging that powerful little human emotion called fear… “Older job seekers struggling with age barrier“.

As much as I cringe at what I imagine to be sensationalism, perhaps there is some truth to the story. 

Many folks find themselves out of work these days.  It’s frustrating, exhausting and often depressing.  It seems as though there’s a shrinking inventory of available opportunities as well.  Is there really a light at the end of this tunnel?

Yes there is, but it’s surely not being created by employers.

You see, an article like the MSNBC one paints a picture of employers being the bad guys.  Age, race, religion and gender are just the beginning of possible discrimination.  And, yes it does happen unfortunately.

However, I invite all of us to look at not just the content of this story, but most importantly at the CONTEXT of this story. 

For me, the context is about job seekers being at the effect of circumstances – i.e. age, race, gender, experience, current economy, industry, etc.  Yet, I see a myriad of job postings on the career websites I frequent, talk to many HR folks who say “I’m struggling to fill this open position”, and hear many stories of people finding employment.  So what gives?

Consider that in any situation, context is NOT the truth, but a possible interpretation.

So what if we really took that sentence to heart?  Now what?

Here’s what I mean…

The economy is challenging right now, not just in Detroit, but across the nation.  Finding a job is more complex and requires more time than it used to.  Fear is the most common emotion we experience these days.  But I have one question for you…

Is that where you stop?

Because if you stop, especially in this economy, you’re screwed.  If you stop because you feel that age, gender, race, money, industry, economy or geography is an issue, you will NOT find employment.  What you will do is spend the majority of your time blaming others for your woes.

This applies to me and the rest of the self-employed as well.  None of us can afford to stop now.  Sure, we’ve got about as many external circumstances as we could ever want as evidence to stop, but that will not do.

For those who have found new employment, new clients, new projects and new money have simply not stopped.  They keep going every day, creating the next opportunity, having the next conversation, scheduling the next meeting, reading the next book.  They don’t stop.

Leadership Practices:

In service of building your muscles around not stopping, please answer these questions and consider these actions…

1. What’s that uncomfortable place you just won’t go?
2. By not going there, what story about you is kept in place?
3. Based on that story, what are you really committed to?
4. Write a letter to yourself two years from now, reflecting back on the past two years.  What will your “two years ahead” self be telling your “today” self?
5. What five people will you call today to generate a conversation about possibility?  Do it again tomorrow.  Then again, and again, and again.
6. Create a structure for support to keep you empowered and in action such as our career coaching program.

Your next opportunity may arrive in your lap by surprise, but only after you’ve taken the action to create the circumstances that would have it happen.

Happy Action,

- Coach Preston