Accomplishment Coaching

The power of more

Partnerships are a funny thing.  We seem to love creating them, but it often seems we have real struggles sticking with them.  So what gives?

Rarely intentional, we enter personal and professional relationships without truly considering what’s important for each one of us.  The Gallup Management Journal ran an article last year that identified the three “most important statements in determining how well your abilities mesh with those of your collaborator”:

1. We compliment each other’s strengths
2. We need each other to get the job done
3. He or she does some things much better than I do, and I do some things much better than he or she does

Although this can apply to personal partnerships as well, I wanted to give an example of how this so critically applies to professional partnerships.  Let’s use our old friend, Stan, as an example.

What Stan knows about himself is the following:

He’s created a successful business over the past 12 years primarily because he’s great at fostering relationships, freely expressing compassion, mentoring and developing his staff, being highly self-aware, and upholding integrity. 

But he also realizes that he’s often too narrowly and short-term focused, jumps too quickly to fix symptoms rather than identifying the root problem, and lacks critical decisiveness in taking action.  This often puts him in a position of complying with the views of others and current circumstances.

When I asked Stan who he felt would be a good fit as a potential partner, he suggested he’d look for someone who has a high level of relationship building skills, sees a similar future for the business, and is willing to weather the bumps of partnership.

If we take a look at this more critically, Stan was really looking for someone who was very similar to himself.  Of course he would… he’s built a successful company on the culture he’s created.

But that’s exactly what Stan doesn’t need.

Rather I suggested he look for someone with the following characteristics:

• Willingness to speak powerfully and pointedly, even if he/she occasionally steps on some toes
• Has little interest in the symptoms of business challenges but can see the root-causes
• Maintains daily focus on the five, ten and fifteen year future of the business
• Has a focus and drive for business results and keeps individuals and teams accountable for results
• Regularly displays courageous behavior in making decisions and taking action

At first Stan was completely resistant… “That person will get crushed in my company.”  Eventually, he began to see exactly why that type of partner would be best.  Through interviews with his staff in which he asked what they thought his leadership gaps were, they almost perfectly outlined the above description.

A year later, Stan and his partner Mary have grown the business significantly, hired more effective staff and shifted the company culture from being 100% “nice and friendly” to “nice and friendly AND results-oriented”.

Stan found a business partner who compliments his strengths, keeps him accountable to results, and is able to do what he can’t.  He does the same for Mary.

Powerful partnership is often most effective with clear difference rather than similarity.

Leadership Practices:

1. Schedule interviews with your staff over the next two weeks and ask the following questions:
   1. What do you see are my gaps in leadership?
   2. If you were going to partner me with another leader, what qualities would that leader possess?
   3. What two actions would you assign me to practice more effective leadership?
2. Write out the three top characteristics you bring to the table as a business leader
3. Notice how many times your actions say “I can do this all on my own” - what are the results?
4. Publicly share your gaps with at least two people, and especially with your current business partner

The myth of “individualism” died long ago, but there’s a large contingent of business owners who still buy into it.  If you’re ready for a new level of success, I invite you to consider a partnership or, if already in one, revisit it.

If you (and your partner) are interested in discovering exactly what you do and don’t bring to the table, please contact me to take my Leadership Circle profile.  I’ve found no better profile to support effective partnership development.

Happy Cahoots,

- Coach Preston

Preston True Career Development, Leadership Development, Marketing BNI, Business Development, Client Development, Coaching, Entrepreneur, Faith and Business, Leadership, LinkedIn, Professional Development, Sales and Marketing, Social Networking, Spirituality

A familiar form of feedback

Yet another “LinkedIn Answers” gem-of-a-question…

Paraphrased = “Since most of us are entirely incapable of seeing the constraints that hold us back, feedback is an invaluable tool.  It offers a chance to see the constraints and take appropriate action.  But how do you offer feedback that makes a difference rather than frequently upsetting another?”

Here are a few thoughts in response:

1. Consider the constraints we have are actually part of the way we’ve been trained to give feedback.  In other words, one of my constraints is that I love to control.  If that’s operating in the background, it’s likely I’ll offer feedback that has me trying to fix or manipulate the other person (so as to control the situation).  Inevitably, that feedback lands as harsh or critical since what I’m really trying to accomplish (underlying assumption) is to protect myself.  This applies to any version of our constraints.
2. Since our feedback is based primarily on our constraints (per above), what you’ll notice is that the focus of our feedback is actually on ourselves rather than where it should be, on the other person or situation.  In other words, our feedback becomes in service to us rather than in service to the other.
3. Finally, since this is typically how feedback is given, we end up having a less than desirable (at time disastrous) experience with feedback.  This has us avoid both giving and receiving feedback.

So, what is there for us to do?  Here are a few ideas:

1. Get clear on your intention for offering feedback.  Ask, “For what would I want to share A, B, or C with Bob?”  Getting clear on our intention will uncover whether we’re about to offer feedback for our own benefit or the other’s benefit.
2. Practice using this format for giving feedback:
   1. Offer an invitation to give feedback rather than telling someone that feedback is coming (whether they want it or not).
   2. Ask the person, “What worked in this/that situation?”
   3. Then ask, “What didn’t work in this/that situation?”
   4. Then ask, “If you could change two things about how it went, what would they be?”
   5. Acknowledge the person for their intention and action around the situation.  Make sure they are fully acknowledged.
   6. Then provide your feedback on the situation based on: a) the situation, and b) what can be done in the future to improve the process.  In other words, don’t make the feedback be about the person - make it about the situation or their actions/speaking.

By offering feedback in this manner, you’re not offering it from your constraints, but from a look into the future; a future that offers forgiveness, development, second chances and partnership.

Happy Feedbacking,

- Coach Preston

Preston True Career Development, Leadership Development, Marketing Business Development, Coaching, Entrepreneur, Leadership, LinkedIn, Personal Development, Professional Development, Sales and Marketing, Social Networking

Feel like you're one of these?

In watching a past episode of The West Wing, I was reminded of how much we want to be everyone’s friend.  Or more realistically, how frequently we avoid rocking the boat.

The scene was between Charlie Young, the President’s personal assistant and Andrew Macintosh, the White House IT (computer) guy.  In the scene, Charlie explains to Andrew that his mom, a DC cop, was shot in the line of duty not long ago.  On top of that, Charlie is working out his experience of being the target of an assassin’s unsuccessful gunshot. 

Although Andrew had recently been joking around with Charlie, the scene got very somber when, as Charlie is searching for the lesson is in these two situations, Andrew says, “You know Charlie, when they’re shooting’ at you, it means you’re doing something right.”

When they’re shooting at you, it means you’re doing something right.

How frequently have we softened our voices, turned a cheek, avoided a conversation, or just simply hidden out?

For most of us, this is how it typically goes.  We avoid speaking or sharing authentically for fear of someone disagreeing with us.  We sit in the back of the seminar room so we won’t be called upon.  We’re unfaithful to our values and create structures of mediocrity in our businesses because we refuse to have the difficult conversations.  We find ourselves saying “yes” when we really mean “no”.  We avoid, at all costs, the risk of someone shooting at us.

And we get the results commiserate with that (lack of) commitment.

So, what if we were willing to be shot at?  Actually, what if we actually embraced the idea that we’ll be shot at?  Certainly not in the literal sense; but shot by words, or judgments, or opinions.  What if we were to stand up and say “This isn’t right.” and BE responsible for it?  What if we were to have that difficult conversation?  What if we were to ask the “stupid” question?

I led a workshop recently with the medical staff of a surgeon’s group.  They hired me in to support their team in creating more effective teamwork.  Throughout the day, it was clear the conversation was getting uncomfortable as a coaching conversation will.  We were working toward identifying the root of the individualism that permeates this organization.  With just an hour left in the day, someone finally spoke up.  She said, “The reason we will never truly succeed as a team is because there is zero trust in this organization.”

The proverbial dropped pin made a huge sound.

In saying that, this team member risked being shot at.  And she was.  But that one declaration created a huge shift in the day.  The root of their challenges was identified and brought into daylight.  A powerful conversation was opened and the team got access to a new opportunity (gifting trust) to bring back to work on Monday.

That opportunity would have never risen had someone not been willing to do the right thing… simply speak what she saw.

So what’s possible for you as a leader if you were to put aside your fear of being shot?

Leadership Practices:

1. Identify the three most dangerous conversations you can have with family, employees or friends.
2. Have one of them this week.
3. Notice what you can and can’t be with (resist or not) about these conversations.
4. Look up the dictionary definition of “gift”.  Do you offer your trust based on that definition?
5. For one week, journal about your experience with being dangerous.  Where do you jump into danger?  Where do you avoid it?
6. Invite one of your employees, colleagues or business associates to share three ideas on how you can improve your leadership.  If they share “softballs”, consider you’ve created a relationship with little trust (”if you shoot me, I’ll shoot you”).  If they share the “hardballs”, consider you’ve created trust (”I’ll be okay if you shoot”).

Someone asked me once what I thought the most dangerous job in the world was.  After pondering six or seven different careers, it became clear it wasn’t about the actual job function.  The most dangerous job in the world is being a leader.

Lead dangerously,

- Coach Preston

Preston True Leadership Development, Spirituality Business Development, Career Development, Coaching, Entrepreneur, Leadership, LinkedIn, Personal Development, Professional Development, Sales and Marketing

Good and familiar doesn't always inspire

Our friend and fellow entrepreneur, Stan, is up to things again.  Here’s the latest and greatest…

Stan’s software business has enjoyed more than 16 years of success.  Sure there have been some bumps in the road, but it’s been more than an enjoyable ride.  That is, up until now.

For the past four months, Stan’s noticed an underlying frustration with his business.  He rarely kicks the covers off the bed on Monday mornings, finds conversations with colleagues and customers tolerable at best, and spends more time day dreaming about how exciting it was 16 years ago when he started the business than he does with current projects and initiatives.

Stan knows he offers a solid product, has happy customers and doesn’t need to worry about money.  So what’s the problem?

Stan’s is doing good work… which is exactly the problem.

Consider all we do (our work) can be described in one of three categories: a) great work, b) good work, and c) bad work.  Great work offers access to our passion along with challenges that pull us forward; that we look forward to.  Good work offers access to making money, fewer bumps in the road and familiarity.  Bad work is simply a waste of time. (Find Your Great Work, Michael Bungay Stanier, 2008)

The problem is great work becomes good work over time.  And good work becomes bad work over more time.  Stan’s work is no longer great; it’s become good.

How many times have all of us found ourselves in that frustrating position?  We started our business from nothing more than a few dollars in our pocket and an outrageous passion; a passion that offered us never-ending satisfaction, exciting challenges and the tenacity of a bull-headed, used car salesman.

But now the sunshine has clouded.  We’ve built our business, we’re earning a good living, customers and clients seem happy, and our staff seems to work out most of their issues without us getting too involved.  Business results keep coming and life is familiar.  But are these the reasons we struck out on our own?  Are they sufficient to keeping us engaged and in love with what we do?  In a word: no.

Like Stan, we got into our business because we wanted to make a huge difference in our community and even for the world.  We saw an opportunity to help others get beyond their current frustrations and to find greater success.  We were determined to be the One.

And, just like Stan, we have an opportunity to return to that great work.  The passion has just taken a back seat.  Our vision of making a difference has simply gone out for pizza.  Our great work is quietly waiting for us to return.

Over the next month, Stan dove into a process of a) exploring what defining moments initially had him get into his business, b) distinguish the context of his frustrations and challenging whether they were fact or fiction, and c) paint a clear picture of what he wants his future to look like. 

By going through this process, Stan has not only stopped the slide from good work to bad work, but has reinvigorated his entire company by getting into new markets that demand a new approach to software.

Great work is back; so is Stan.

Leadership Practices:

1. Notice what parts (or wholes) of your business have gone from great to “okay”.
2. What projects, actions, conversations, and relationships are you consistently avoiding?  Which are you being drawn to?
3. Ask and write about the following questions - What’s my purpose?  What’s the purpose of my business?  What’s the ultimate legacy I want my business to leave?
4. Where am I excited about responsibility?  Where do I avoid it at all costs?
5. Keep a week-long journal regarding your experience of your business; make note of the times you’re inspired.  Identify the activity and schedule it as a daily or weekly appointment.

Good work will continue to pay the bills, put away some savings and ensure the familiar and predictable.  Great work will blow your socks off with excitement, fulfillment, and possibility.  Which do you choose?

Happy Bare Feet,

- Coach Preston

PS - For more on Michael Bungay Stanier’s book and resources, visit Find Your Great Work.  It’s amazing.

Preston True Career Development, Leadership Development, Marketing Business Development, Career Development, Coaching, Entrepreneur, Leadership, LinkedIn, Personal Development

Are you producing or consuming?

If you own a business and have employees, you’ll want to read this.

If you volunteer your time with charitable organizations, schools or other public organizations, you’ll want to read this.

If you’re a “solo-preneur” working to produce results, you’ll want to read this too.

If you engage the media in some way, shape or form, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.  If you respond to direct mail or advertising by clipping your coupons and certificates, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.  If you watch the news and form certain perceptions of the people you see reported about, it’s likely you’re in the midst of a training process.

A training process that, although completely legitimate and okay, is likely doing damage to your ability to produce money, time, power, love, compassion, results, and life.

You may be rolling your eyes and saying to yourself, “Preston has finally gone off the deep end now.”  No problem.  If you are, this would be a good place to stop reading.

Here’s where I’m going with this idea:

In the age of us being bombarded by information, we are involuntarily put in the position of being consumers of this information.  It shows up without us asking for it, at any time, on any day of the month, and in almost any environment.  Through the consistency of this bombardment, we cannot help but be in a training process to consume more.

Can this really be true?  Just ask the neighbors or friends you have who are in the advertising industry.  They’ve built fortunes from you and me being in this training process.

So, I’m not here to bash the advertising and marketing industries.  I’m in business for myself and I work everyday to meet professionals who will consume my services.  It’s how all of us will eat today in some manner.

However, I invite you to get some altitude on the concept and look at it from 50,000 feet rather than 500.

How can being trained as a consumer disrupt or hinder what you’re up to?

Consider that by being trained consistently and reliably as a consumer, we begin to lose our ability to produce.  We learn through this training process that everything is available for us; that it can be delivered right to our door; that if one place doesn’t have what we’re looking for another will.

This training process begins to dissolve our ability and motivation to create.  It has us become lazy, unmotivated, and (here’s the nasty part) slip into the role of irresponsibility or victim-hood.

Yes, victim-hood.

As a business professional and leader, how often do you work with, manage or lead others?  How many people have you found unmotivated, uninspired and, at times, incapable of producing even modest results?

Personally, how often do you notice those characteristics in yourself?

What stands in the way of you and your team producing results isn’t the economy, your prospects, your industry, the weather, the government, your employees or your mother-in-law.  It’s that you, your team, me and most of our culture has been trained to consume rather than produce.  It’s a “what’s in it for me” culture.  This is a great concept to leverage as a marketer, and in my opinion, it’s not a great concept to deal with when working with others to produce results.

Leadership Practices:

So, what can you do, or who can you be, to “un-train” yourself and your team?  Here are a few ideas:

• When you experience an employee doing just enough work to get by, ask “What would be available for you if you took that one, extra step”?
• When you notice your sales team complaining they don’t have enough resources to perform better, ask them “What resource are you able to create to support your efforts”?
• When you see that you consistently get stopped by negative judgments or interpretations of the economy or industry, ask yourself “What am I capable of producing in this moment”?
• When you notice you or your team depending more on hopes, wishes and prayers to make things happen, ask “What are we willing to declare and fulfill upon this week”?

Success isn’t about getting home runs all the time.  That may be what you’ve been trained to understand when you consume the information that’s put out by media and marketing sources.

Success is about getting up to the plate, declaring a result, taking the action aligned with producing that result, and being with whatever result occurs.  Then do it all over again.

Or you can choose to sit in the stands and watch the game and hope the hot dog vendor comes soon to satisfy your hunger.

Happy Producing,

-  Coach Preston

Preston True Career Development, Leadership Development, Marketing BNI, Business Development, Client Development, Coaching, Entrepreneur, Facebook, Leadership, LinkedIn, Professional Development, Sales and Marketing, Twitter