Accomplishment Coaching

A colleague of mine shared a very interesting perspective with me today.  She said, “Sometimes I’m so paralyzed by the fear, it seems like there’s no way around it.”  Man, did I ever get it.

How many times have we been in a situation with no visible escape hatch from the fear?  You try to run and hide, but the fear is so BIG it’s already moved into your favorite and reliable hiding place.  Crud.

This is an exhausting game I play… the one called “try to dodge my fear.”  Working lots of hours, waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about being worried – these are just several expressions of running away from it.

Then my colleague said, “I’ve gotten exhausted too Preston.  But I’ve come up with something that seems to help.  Rather than try to avoid the fear, I’ve made up a game called ‘Making a game of failing’.”

Huh?

Consider it this way – we spend so much time (and resources) trying to avoid our fears that we rarely stop to ask what we’re afraid of.  99% of the time the thing we most fear is failure.  And the game our culture plays is called “pin the tail on the failure.”  No wonder it’s so frightening.  Who’d want a tail pinned on them?  The thing is, no matter what version of this game I play, I’m always frightened of failing.

So now what? 

Here’s a spin on the game.  Rather than trying to avoid the failure, make a game of failing.  That’s right, actually make a game of failing.  For example, I’m going to call 10 prospects and actually have fun with them saying “no”.  How come?  Because when I turn it into a new game, I take the pressure off.  It’s so much easier to fail!  It takes away 99% of the significance. 

The side benefits of this game: a) I’ll always win because I’ll fail, and b) some of those prospects will actually say “yes”.  I get to feel better and get some new clients.

Leadership Practices:

1. Stop pretending your not afraid.
2. Notice how much you avoid so you can stay away from failure.
3. Ask, “What am I really afraid of anyway?”
4. Turn failing into a winning game by trying to fail.  It’s actually a lot harder to do when you look at it this way.

Remember, all you’re doing is shifting the framework or lens through which you interpret failure.  Like me, you’re still going to fail.  Why not have some fun with it instead of drowning in significance.

Happy Strikeouts,

-Coach Preston

What risks have you taken today?  Friday is an easy day to coast.

What’s possible if you finished out your week with a few risky actions?  You know, calling that scary prospect; having that important conversation; making a bold promise for next week.

Stop waiting not to fail.  You might just produce something you’ve been hoping to produce.

Have a great weekend,

-Coach Preston

A plug for two guys who make a world of difference in Detroit…Charlie Wollborg and Terry Bean:

If you’re interested in hearing more than 25 top-notch, local experts unload powerful ideas and insight into business, success and passion, you’ll want to attend Motor City Connect’s Third Annual Birthday Bash this Friday from 1pm to 5pm at the Troy Community Center, 3179 Livernois, Troy, MI 48083.

Please visit http://motorcityconnect.com/expospeakers.html for more information and the speaker line-up.

Happy Networking and Growing,

- Coach Preston

During a conversation earlier today, a client shared with me her frustration with how a project is going – or actually not going.  Between her teammates not completing a milestone on time, her boss inquiring for the third time on the status of her board presentation, and painful discomfort in her lower back (origin not currently known), she’s overwhelmed and confronted.  Adding to the situation was a phone call from her 10-year old asking if she’d actually be home for dinner any evening this week.

And so it goes climbing the ladder of accomplishment, praise and recognition.  For most of us, we’ve all logged in the 100′s of hours, the late nights, the back-to-back meetings and the neglect of our larger life.

It’s not surprising that our conversation turned quickly to her back.  “Herniated disk.  Did it playing volleyball.  Can’t seem to get rid of it.  Physical therapy is helping though.”  Her speaking painted the same picture.

Familiar story?  Lack of time & money, frustration, anxiety, overwhelm and the neglect of our well-being are expert “ease-vacuums.”

Plus, the aches, pains, illness and sickness we experience fall into the category of disease… think about it “dis” – “ease.”  Or in Webster’s word origin definition, “Without ease.”

I’m sure my client’s physical therapist is doing great work to alleviate the pain in my client’s back.  And I wonder how much faster she’d heal if she created more “ease”, let alone if she would have ever herniated her disk in the first place.

What are you doing to promote your “dis-ease?”  What are you doing to promote “more-ease?”

Imagine a world where we learned to say “no” to the urgent and unimportant, let what our boss said roll off our backs just a bit more, and invested more time in playing. 

You might just end up creating a world without disease.

Think about it,

-Coach Preston

I’ve not counted the number of books in my bookshelf recently.  However, I can assure you there are just a few that really stand out.

Seth Godin’s, Linchpin, is nothing short of a masterpiece.

If you’re content with the status quo, this book will annoy the heck out of you.

If you’re ready to become who you truly are, this book will be magical.  Read it today.

-Coach Preston