Accomplishment Coaching

Send Out Card reps, be prepared – I’m going to stir up the pot.

Yesterday, I received this in an email – it’s the third such email I’ve received in two weeks:

“Hi Preston – I just got your card in the mail and thank you so much!  What a personal way of connecting.”

You’ve got to be kidding.  I’m not sure which is more disconcerting: a) that someone acknowledged a hand-written note with an email, or b) that many of these comments have come from people who are in the same business as me – a business whose foundation is built on intimacy.

In a culture that increasingly promotes “efficiency”, we are rapidly losing touch with intimacy.  You know, that close, familiar, and caring relationship we have with people.

As a technology consultant or professional, you understand the benefit of being more efficient – who wouldn’t want to move through one task more quickly to get to another you’re more interested in?  Plus, you’re perfectly positioned to help folks leverage technology to be more efficient.

But why are we trying to move more quickly through the “task” of creating a close, familiar and caring relationship?  The irony is amazing.  How much time does it really take to write a note, lick the envelope/stamp, and put it in the mailbox?  Is the time saved worth NOT making a deeper connection?

If you’re wondering why more people aren’t identifying themselves as prospects, why clients aren’t buying more, or why your staff seems so resistant to change, you might consider your emphasis on “efficiency” is doing more damage than good.

At what cost are you “benefitting” from efficiency?

Leadership Practices:

1. Get “thank you” notes printed and MAIL them after every sales meeting you have.
2. Stop sending computer generated “thank you’s” (email, computer generated cards, etc).
3. Schedule 30 minutes a day to connect with just one of your staff – leave work out of the conversation completely.
4. Notice where you feel you can’t be yourself in relationships.
5. Notice what scares you most about being vulnerable – i.e. what’s the real fear?

Your technical skill and knowledge is a gold mine – prospective and current clients value it tremendously.  Just beware that the “pull to efficiency” may be doing more damage to the growth of your business than you realize.  Revitalize the concept of intimacy in your business and notice the result.

Think about it,

-Coach Preston

A colleague of mine shared a very interesting perspective with me today.  She said, “Sometimes I’m so paralyzed by the fear, it seems like there’s no way around it.”  Man, did I ever get it.

How many times have we been in a situation with no visible escape hatch from the fear?  You try to run and hide, but the fear is so BIG it’s already moved into your favorite and reliable hiding place.  Crud.

This is an exhausting game I play… the one called “try to dodge my fear.”  Working lots of hours, waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about being worried – these are just several expressions of running away from it.

Then my colleague said, “I’ve gotten exhausted too Preston.  But I’ve come up with something that seems to help.  Rather than try to avoid the fear, I’ve made up a game called ‘Making a game of failing’.”

Huh?

Consider it this way – we spend so much time (and resources) trying to avoid our fears that we rarely stop to ask what we’re afraid of.  99% of the time the thing we most fear is failure.  And the game our culture plays is called “pin the tail on the failure.”  No wonder it’s so frightening.  Who’d want a tail pinned on them?  The thing is, no matter what version of this game I play, I’m always frightened of failing.

So now what? 

Here’s a spin on the game.  Rather than trying to avoid the failure, make a game of failing.  That’s right, actually make a game of failing.  For example, I’m going to call 10 prospects and actually have fun with them saying “no”.  How come?  Because when I turn it into a new game, I take the pressure off.  It’s so much easier to fail!  It takes away 99% of the significance. 

The side benefits of this game: a) I’ll always win because I’ll fail, and b) some of those prospects will actually say “yes”.  I get to feel better and get some new clients.

Leadership Practices:

1. Stop pretending your not afraid.
2. Notice how much you avoid so you can stay away from failure.
3. Ask, “What am I really afraid of anyway?”
4. Turn failing into a winning game by trying to fail.  It’s actually a lot harder to do when you look at it this way.

Remember, all you’re doing is shifting the framework or lens through which you interpret failure.  Like me, you’re still going to fail.  Why not have some fun with it instead of drowning in significance.

Happy Strikeouts,

-Coach Preston

Goal #144 – “Ask my partner to give three hours of his/her time per week, to release me to do something I really enjoy.” ~ Thomas Leonard, www.thomasleonard.com

Can you imagine that? 

Most of us can’t.  Time is just too scarce.  Just too valuable.  Plus, we’re the only ones who can do what we do.

What a crazy trap we set for ourselves.  Much of it is based in ego; the rest based in the concept that suffering under current circumstances is still more comfortable than changing them.

So why not ask your partner, friend, spouse or colleague to give three hours of his/her time this week.  Sure it might seem a bit uncomfortable, but imagine what those three hours will be like if you’re doing something you really, really want to do.

If you’re really saavy, you might just consider spending those three hours developing even more awareness and breakthroughs around time – check out our Time Leadership Workshop on February 25^th.

Tick tock,

- Coach Preston

This past weekend, I was in my local bookstore walking through the business section.  I was absolutely amazed at how many books there are on marketing strategies and techniques.  There certainly isn’t any reason a business can’t flourish considering the abundance of marketing resources available.

Yet one of the biggest mistakes a business owner can make is to invest in any marketing effort before knowing exactly where the business needs to go.

A powerful solution to that issue… attend our P3 Workshop tomorrow in Ferndale.

Jump into 2010 with both feet.

- Coach Preston

Tired of always having the answer?

What questions is your leadership team asking?  Perhaps more importantly, what questions is your leadership team NOT asking?

Your organization’s ability to ask the “right questions” is critical to its success.  Unfortunately, your business, like mine, is likely at the effect of the training and experience each individual has received for years through American academia and culture – the training called having the “right answer”.

We see it daily in our lives:

• Our children are rewarded at school for the highest number of right answers
• Our businesses and organizations reward employees for having the right answers and doing the job correctly
• Our clients pay us handsomely for giving them the right answers
• We spend thousands of dollars a month or year marketing ourselves as “experts” – i.e. the one who has the best answers

So, it’s not surprising to consider that all of us have been programmed to have the “right answers”.

At first glance, having the right answer offers many benefits:

• Students who have more right answers get higher grades
• Workers who can solve problems quickly get more money and promotions
• People are recognized as experts when they have more of the right answers

It would seem that having the right answers is all we need to succeed in life.

Today, I’m going to challenge that belief.  Consider our emphasis on having the right answers actually debilitates us and keeps us small and safe.

You see, when we insist on having the right answers:

• We are attached to being right which drastically narrows our ability to create vision or get altitude (perspective) on situations
• We develop a powerful context of black/white or either/or thinking that kills off tremendous possibility
• We inhibit powerful creativity and access to new perspectives
• We frequently dis-empower our team leading to dissention and confusion

As leaders, we cannot afford to have the right answers. 

Case in point – GM, Chrysler and Ford have all been playing the game of “right answers”.  For years, they’ve been telling us what the best cars are to drive.  For two of those three organizations, that philosophy has led to some incredibly tough times.

So what’s the alternative?

Please take a moment to reflect on the following question:

What’s possible for you, your business and your team if you spent just 20% more time focused on identifying the right questions?

In Germany, major business organizations (Diamler, Siemans, SAP for example), have entire departments dedicated to Grundsatzfragen, meaning “fundamental questions”.  The primary role of this department is to create and discuss fundamental questions.   When many of these companies have been acquired by a US company, the Grundsatzfagen departments have been eliminated.  (Click for attribution and more)

Questions are the life-blood of creativity, reinvention and evolution.  Questions stir vision, purpose and passion.  Questions lead to some of the richest conversations that not only spur collaborative and intimate relationships, but ultimately lead to the most effective “right answers”.

Do you know what question led to the invention of the McDonald’s fast food empire?  Ray Kroc asked, “Where can I get a good hamburger on the road?”  Ray didn’t start with having the right answer.

Leadership Practices:

1. Play a game.  For one week, record the number of times you give people the answer.  Scoring key = 0-3 times – great work empowering questions; 4-6 times – you’ve got some room to practice asking more questions; 7-10 times – congratulations – you’re not only the “answer-man/woman but you’ve effectively eliminated all creativity and have trained your team to be entirely dependent on you! 
2. Practice asking questions that evoke a future vision rather than solve a problem.  For example, “What’s the possibility or opportunity we see inside our overtime situation?” rather than “How do we reduce overtime?”
3. Create a semi-monthly meeting (twice a month) in which you and your leadership DO NOT answer a single question or issue.  Make the sole purpose of this meeting to identify the “right questions” your leadership team needs to be asking.
4. Invite a facilitator in to run a Leadership Cafe for you – it’s a powerful, structured experience that allows you to identify the right questions your oganization needs to be asking.

Giving up always having the answer may not happen overnight, but focusing on the right questions will get you further, create more success and, ultimately, have you develop a more fulfilling business and team.

Happy Curiosity,

-Coach Preston