Accomplishment Coaching

My client, Dan (not his real name), has been seeking a way out of financial stress for the past three years.  Week after week, conversation after conversation, he’s still in the same place he’s always been.  Dan has managed to rack up more than $300,000 in debt without any plan to pay it off.

“Man, do I need to get my money in order.  I can’t keep living like this… barely able to keep creditors at bay and never knowing whether I’ll be able to make the mortgage this month or next.  I can’t stand this and I just want it to stop… to go away.”

Although this example likely isn’t familiar for you, many folks find themselves in similar situations today.  What seemed like a small issue in the past has transformed into an enormous problem.  Perhaps it’s around money, relationships, careers or businesses.  Regardless of the content, the issue is still the same – stuff happens and we assign meaning to it.

Now meaning-making is okay.  It’s as natural for us humans as having pizza and a beer on Friday night.  And just as too much pizza and beer might cause some issues, so does the meaning-making.  A frequent outcome of this process = problems.

So what does this have to do with breakthroughs?  Here you go…

Consider that my client Dan is relating to his financial situation as a problem.  “Well, of course” you might say.  But I invite you to get some altitude on problems for a moment.

A problem is created when we focus on an external circumstance; for example, not enough money.  We focus on the external circumstance defined by the value of the numbers printed on our bank statement.  We then look to external factors or resources to fix the problem.  Sometimes that works.  And many more times, it doesn’t.  The worst part is it just becomes about getting rid of the dog-gone problem.  “If that problem just went away, everything would be just fine!”

But what if a problem was just a disempowering relationship to a circumstance?  Or, what if a problem was just an expression of you saying “This shouldn’t be!”?

This is where we might create a new relationship to the stuff that happens to us.  A relationship called “breakdown” rather than “problem”.

A breakdown is the by-product of a commitment getting off course.  For example, if my client Dan has a commitment to pay off all his debt, and he runs into a temporary shortage of money, he’ll relate to the shortage of money not as a “problem” with all its usual drama, but as access to the next appropriate action.  He might take a look at how he can create more income, reduce weekly household expenses or call his creditors to create a repayment plan.

Whatever the action, Dan would be moving toward his ultimate commitment of being debt-free.  As crazy as it sounds, he just might invite breakdowns as part of the journey.

So now’s the time to look in your life and business.  Where are you drowning in the drama of problems?  You know the ones that keep you up at night and bury you during each day?

What if you were to take on problems not as unmovable burdens but as opportunities to create action and movement?  If you did, you’d now call them breakdowns.

Leadership Practices:

1. Make a list of all the “problems” you’ve got in an area of your life.
2. For each problem, ask “what commitment is this problem in the way of?”
3. Re-create your problem list as your commitment list using the answers to question #2.
4. Declare a “breakdown” in any of the commitments that aren’t moving forward.  I.e. – in client Dan’s case, he’d declare his lack of money a “breakdown” in his commitment to be debt-free.
5. Finally, come up with 2-3 actions you can take today to move closer to your commitment.

Problems are dramatic, ugly and rarely provide any relief.  On the other hand, breakdowns are powerful, beautiful and delicious… all in service of your ultimate commitment.

Happy Breakdowns,

-Coach Preston

George called me last week.  He was completely stressed out about the lack of time in his business and life.

George had just stepped back into his office from a day of sales appointments, client meetings and a board retreat.  “This is the story of my life” he shared with me.  “Running from one place to the next to the next.  And the worst part is projects keep getting pushed back further and further.  I’d be okay with the craziness if at least it produced the results I wanted.”

“Preston, how can I make all this work?  You’re a coach… you must have a time management tactic or strategy for me to use to make this better.”

Sorry George.  I don’t have the magic pill you’re seeking.

Does this story sound familiar?  Too much to do and not enough time?  Strategizing, negotiating and manipulating time until we realize we’ve spent what turns into (if we actually measured it) an inordinate amount of time stressing out and looking to find the time management “magic pill” that will forever end the misery.

It’s as if we actually believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; the time management rainbow. Consider thought, that there’s no such thing as time management let alone a “pot of gold” solution. At least not in the context with which we’re most familiar.

So, why would I say that and what is it that has so many of us suffering around time? There are two primary issues:

First, although we all deal with time, it’s a rare bird that actually distinguishes his or her relationship with time. That’s right… relationship with time. We all have 24 hours 7 days a week (considering you’re from this planet). Yet most Americans schedule their calendars as if more time were to magically appear.

One of the biggest drivers of this behavior I’ve seen is that people measure their self-worth by how much they do. Have you ever heard someone lament about how busy they are? Consider they’re just flexing their “I’m important” muscles as in “I’m so busy ’cause I’m so important.” It’s a tough decision for me too… be important and suffer or just be important.

Second, we live in a “fix it” culture. When there’s a time crunch we frequently look for solutions to that problem without looking at the true driver of the challenge. For example, I just met with a coaching prospect, Steve, who shared all the time management strategies he’s employed over the past two years. When I asked how it was going with time now, he said, “I still can’t find enough time.”

When we looked at the driver, we discovered an unconscious game he’s playing is to be “the smartest guy in the room”. He spends huge amounts of time researching data, analyzing results and listening to media resources. This driver (or context) will for ever force him to spend loads of time satiating the need to be “the smartest guy in the room”, but may not serve him ultimately. Until he begins making a shift in that context, no time management system will ever be effective.

So now what?

• Stop using the language “time management”.  Management is the oversight of processes and keeping them accountable.  Management is what you do when a framework has already been established.  In other words, management is making the best of an existing context.  In our example above, our prospect Steve would keep seeking better ways to cram all the research and analyzing into less time.  Good luck with that.
• Instead, start using the language, “time leadership”.  Consider the following quote from Alan Keith of Genentech who said “Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen.”  The solution for our prospect Steve isn’t managing within his existing context around time.  It’s about creating something entirely new, or extraordinary.  Perhaps he stops researching and begins taking action immediately.  Perhaps he stops trying to “fix” his time issue and starts delegating everything that isn’t completely essential to his professional role.

No matter what it is that Steve takes on, as long as it’s inside a new and empowering context, he’ll likely solve his time issues overnight.

Leadership Practices:

1. Make a list of everything you do in life and business – I mean everything.  Then categorize them into three categories of commitment: a) 100% committed to it, b) 50% committed to it, and c) 0% committed to it  Find a way to delegate, demote or delete anything that you’re less than 100% committed to.  WARNING: This is a confronting exercise.  Don’t try it alone. “-)
2. Plan Tomorrow Today.  Every evening, create a list of the six most important items that need to be handled the next day.  Do not cheat by making the list longer than six items.  Make a commitment to take action ONLY on the top six that day.  List phone calls, tasks, and errands as secondary.  Spend your day working on your top six list and when you get stuck, go to your phone calls, tasks and errands list temporarily.  Then get back to the top six list in short order.
3. Distinguish your current relationship to time.  One way to uncover it is to ask someone close to you the following question: “What do you notice I do with time?”  That will likely spur some terrific conversation.  Be prepared to get confronted by the answers as well.  “-)
4. Declare that you’ll operate from Time Leadership rather than Time Management.  Sometimes just making the declaration creates the extraordinary.

Lastly, have fun with this.  One of the consequences of “time management” is that we make time really significant.  Let that go and open yourself up to a brand new relationship with time.

Tick-tock,

-Coach Preston