Accomplishment Coaching

As Magorium, the eccentric magician-turned-magic-store-owner in Mr. Margorium’s Wonder Emporium, Dustin Hoffman not only attempts to motivate his store manager, Molly Mahoney, but creates one of the most powerful calls-to-action invented.

This single line surrounded by 100′s of others, punctuates the dilemma all of us face at one point or another in our lives and businesses – not believing in ourselves.

So what is it that causes such turmoil with belief?  It’s likely our past.  Maybe it’s something someone said to us a moment ago.  Perhaps we’ve had a dream, been side tracked by challenges and sit helplessly wishing that dream would come true.

So what is your dream that hasn’t come true?

As an entrepreneur and leader, it’s likely you’ve come up against any number of possible dreams… building your business, moving into that new office space, getting hired by that one enormous client… and they’re all nothing short of delicious.

So if they are that desirable, what is it that gets us stuck?  Consider it’s just two things: a) faith, and b) action.

A) Faith = the willingness to move forward without proof or evidence that it will work.  Fear is a familiar and powerful partner when it comes to keeping you comfortable and safe.  Fear will whisper sweet nothings in your ear about how “you’re just fine” or “you don’t want to work that hard” or “you can’t trust them.”  On the other side of fear, is simply faith.  No proof, no evidence.  Just a desired future.

B) Action = what an agent can do.  In other words, you’re the agent for your business, your communities and your life.  Action is what you can do, or specifically, the behaviour you can take to move something forward.  Again, fear is a powerful partner.  “It’s too difficult” or “You don’t know enough” or “They’re bigger, smarter and faster than you” are all messages from fear.  So you have a choice, no action or action.  Which will serve you better?

So here’s some “fieldwork” you might consider taking on:

1. Make a declaration of what you want – a desired future.
2. Practice eliminating the voice that says anything like “you’re not good enough or smart enough”
3. Replace that voice with the following “My life is an occasion and I’m rising to it.”
4. Ask “What action can I take right now (this moment) to move this project, situation, person, self forward?”
5. Identify one piece of evidence each day that you are moving forward.  (Extra credit: don’t judge the evidence – it’s either present or not.  No big or small conversations here!)

Who you are, what you do and how you contribute to your success and the success of others around you has so little to do with skill or knowledge.  It simply has everything to do with knowing that you are an occasion and that you’re rising to it.

Celebrate yourself as an occasion.

Happy Partying,

-Coach Preston

This week I got a real treat by going to the Thursday children’s mass.

Although I love the sermons on Sunday, I’m always curious what will be discussed on Thursdays considering the overwhelmingly adolescent audience. As predicted, I was ready to check my Palm Pilot and write a few notes about the day in front of me while I listened “loosely”.

Until I heard the M & M story.

“As a young child, just like all of you, I took long car trips with my family”, the priest began. “My mom used to keep me and my five brothers and sisters in good behavior on those trips by giving us M & M’s. She’d ration them out to each one of us based on our behavior. If it was good, we got more. If it was not, we got very few.”

Then he asked, “What is rationing?”

A rather astute youngster raised her hand and answered, “It’s the controlled distribution of resources and scarce goods and services.” Clearly she’s a daughter of an economist. And, this was starting to get better.

The priest continued, “So where do we typically ration in our lives?”

There were several answers: “When we’re playing with our sisters or brothers, when a friend and I want to play with the same toy, each week when my mom and dad give me my allowance…”

And then the priest said something that hit me like a sucker-punch:

“God does not ration. God loves 100% of you 100% of the time. God does not ration.”

I put down my Palm Pilot.

For in that moment, I realized that I was rationing my attention. I was giving some of it to the sermon, some of it to the device that’s attached to my hip, and likely more to my thoughts of my upcoming day.

And if that was simply the most obvious place I noticed my rationing, where else have I been doing the same?

Here are some places that occurred to me:

a) I schedule appointments almost back to back – what am I rationing there?
b) I get irritated when I don’t receive my monthly discount coupon from my airport parking lot friends – what am I rationing there?
c) I stop myself from making a sales call on a “very prominent and important person” – what am I rationing there?
d) I go about most days believing that I’m the only one who can take care of A, B or C – what am I rationing there?
e) I avoid being with some family members that I don’t particularly like – what am I rationing there?

So what am I rationing in the examples above?

a) Time
b) Money
c) Confidence
d) Trust
e) Love

It struck me that I spend a decent amount of time rationing my resources. That I withhold my time, money, confidence, trust and love from many people and situations. And it’s not just me.

So what makes it so prevalent, this withholding or rationing?

Consider we’re just simply afraid of not having enough for ourselves. And consider that fear comes from us not being enough for OURselves.

When was the last time you said YOU were enough for YOU? When you said, “I’m totally sufficient for myself?” If you’re like many, it’s been a long time, if ever.

So we wonder why our businesses don’t make it when we run into challenges; the ones we’ll inevitably run into. We wonder why employees don’t work out. We wonder why clients leave us. We wonder why our marriages or relationships fail.

We ration our M & M’s.

So I’ll leave this last thought and an invitation to create some space to truly listen:

What one area of your life will be transformed if you were to offer it all of your M & M’s?

Happy Sugar Buzz,
-Coach Preston