Accomplishment Coaching

Yesterday, I got my backside handed to me. Fortunately, it was delivered on a silver platter.

I was late for a phone call with someone who’s interested in our coaches training program. For the second time in two weeks.

“Preston, I can understand being a few minutes late for an appointment. But I cannot understand why this happened again. It’s making me feel like you don’t care. And it’s making me very skeptical of doing business with you.”

Ouch. I said to myself, “Well this is going to be an interesting book considering the introduction that’s just been written…”

So how come I sharing this today? I’m sharing because this conversation was one of the most powerful and insightful moments I’ve had this month.

I do what I do as a coach because of my commitment to make a difference. I take on a partnership with other human beings with one intention in mind – to support them in breaking through the barriers that consistently stop them.

This person sought me out to get support around stepping into what’s next for her in her life. On the several occasions we’ve talked, she’s created an enormous possibility in becoming a professional coach. I’ve had the opportunity to coach her on what’s stopping her, acknowledge and have compassion for her struggle to discover what’s next, and to support her in creating action based on her commitment to what’s next rather than the circumstances that will get in the way.

So for me, what occurred yesterday wasn’t about me being embarrassed and upset about my breakdown, it was that I realized my actions (or lack of) were putting this person’s possibility at risk. That realization was totally devastating.

What did I learn from this experience? And how did it end? Let’s take a look.

If you’re completely anxious about how it ended, here’s how:

She’s registering for our coach training program.

Here’s what I learned:

When I create a mess, own it. It’s so tempting for me to come up with one to 45 excuses about why I was late or missed our call time. But how would those excuses serve this person? Excuses are TOTALLY about me, not about them. So instead, I took ownership of the mess I made which not only diffused potential upset, but I got my power back. And having my power back allowed me to get back to being in service to this person which is all about cleaning up the mess.

When I create a mess, clean it up in the moment. It’s easy to say “I’m sorry” then take action later about cleaning up – send them a note, buy them a gift, or whatever action I might take. But that just delays the clean up AND has me deciding what the “clean up” should be. The other person is still swimming around in the mess I’ve created and likely never has his/her needs truly addressed. So instead, I asked “What do you need right now from me so that we can keep moving forward?” I got an answer and I delivered on that answer. In the moment.

Listen to get the coaching. After owning and cleaning up my mess, I now had an opportunity to receive coaching. Yes, me the coach. This woman suggested I take a look at all the things I’m doing and to consider that I just might have too much on my plate. So much that it’s likely I’ll miss appointments with other people too. I’ve now committed to removing anything from my schedule that’s less than a 100% commitment. I got some powerful coaching.

Here are some things for you to consider:

a) Where does this story ring true for you?
b) Where are you making messes in your business or your life and delaying or denying cleaning them up?
c) What’s the impact of denying the messes or delaying any clean up?
d) What’s the coaching for you in making messes, owning them and cleaning them up?
e) What current mess will you take ownership and action on today?

As an entrepreneur and leader, messes are an inevitable part of my process. I’ve made them in the past, I’ll make them today, and I’m confident I’ll make them in the future.

So for me, it’s not about avoiding them. It’s about shifting my relationship to them. It’s about sharing them openly. It’s about owning them and taking action around cleaning them up and learning a lesson.

Because in any mess I make, there’s an incredibly juicy opportunity to breakthrough a barrier that’s currently stopping me.

Happy Mop-up,
-Coach Preston

I had a tremendous experience this past weekend. I was initiated into the Catholic Church.

The Easter Vigil service was one I’d never experienced before… adults being baptized, confirmed and initiated into the church. It was amazing to be part of the baptism especially. Men and women standing in a baptismal font getting literally drenched. And all of us having just completed a six month journey of philosophy, catechism, and discussion about what it means to be Catholic.

I wonder what has people do things like this?

What is it that has a grown adult step under the enormous pitcher to get soaked? In front of all their friends and family. To be publicly identified as “one of those people.” To enter an organization that’s potentially a target for both admiration and very likely, criticism.

So let’s take this out of the religious realm for a moment. What would have anyone publicly profess a belief or opinion?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Taking action on a vow
2. Being held accountable to that vow
3. Requesting support in the journey that vow generates

There are many varieties of “vows” we make. In my business, I often refer to something called a “declaration”… a statement to bring a desired future into existence. Some other examples of vows or declarations are: marriage, a new client, an educational degree, a business partner, a new business, sales results, etc. All of these begin as thoughts or desires and often become declarations.

And often times, they never materialize. Here’s one reason why:

Consider that many vows or declarations never materialize (or work out) because they’re never made public. We say to ourselves, “I’ll earn $20,000 more this year.” “I’ll get 10 new clients this quarter.” “I’ll find a great person to date this month.” Good stuff, right?

Then it never happens.

Had I just said to myself, “I’ll become Catholic this year”, it’s likely I’d have gone to mass a bunch of times, perhaps read some stuff on the Catechism (instruction of the Catholic Church), and eventually stop being involved.

Why would it happen that way? Because this process of becoming Catholic was challenging, difficult and confronting. There’s stuff the Catholic Church believes that I am still in process about. There are beliefs, philosophies and structures that are new, confusing and (in my opinion) questionable. Throughout this process, I argued, got upset and frustrated, and more than once said “this isn’t worth it.” The predictable thing for me to do in this situation was to quit.

And I didn’t. Because this journey is one I’m totally committed to take and one that, for me, has a pot of gold in the end. So I got confirmed and initiated on Saturday evening.

I overcame what was predictable for one reason: I made a public declaration when I began this process and I made another public declaration on Saturday evening.

By making this public declaration, I garnered the support of the church community, other non-Catholic Christians who have been through this process, and the church itself. For this is only the beginning of a life-long journey… one that will bring much joy AND frustration and challenge.

So whether it’s religion, spirituality, business, relationships, community, or any other future, practice making public declarations. Declarations that are heard and witnessed by individuals and communities who are committed to supporting you in reaching that goal, that future, and that dream.

If it would support you, you can also give me a call and just declare.

Happy Declarations,

-Coach Preston

I had a really inspiring and intriguing conversation with a business colleague last week. We met to as a “get to know you” meeting and share ideas on supporting one another. As I was explaining a bit of who I am, I mentioned my recent “spiritual” journey on becoming Catholic.

Now judgment about various denominations aside, our conversation quickly turned to one of the differences between religion and spirituality and the various ways people do or do not practice, believe, or LEVERAGE spirituality in business and life.

I capitalize the word LEVERAGE for a reason and here it is: Spirituality is one of the most overlooked resources we have in tapping into OUR OWN power and that of others. My opinion is that we overlook it because we’ve done a terrific job of putting “spirituality” into the category of “religion”. And that’s a conversation for another day.

Consider this – people avoid being fully connected to the following: Self, Others and God/Spirit/Universe/Life. This happens in three automatic and predictable ways:

1) We focus on SELF only – this leaves us isolated, protected and perhaps connected to our self, but not always. We are definitely protected from OTHERS and/or the DIVINE. We likely know people like this – they make lots of demands and rarely inquire about you or how they can help or support you.

2) We focus on OTHERS only – this has us be subservient, giving ourselves and our power to others, leaving us unserved, and/or disconnected from our SELF and/or the DIVINE. We also know people who are so focused on others that they consistently give away all of their power and remain stuck in their lives.

3) We create a short-cut from SELF to DIVINE – this looks like people trying to get to personal enlightenment by avoiding people or certain people. These might be the people we know who profess their connection to the Divine yet shun any contact, support or community with other people.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with any of the above. They are all possible ways of interacting with people and the rest of the world.

And when we focus only on one of those areas, it’s the way we completely deny full power and possibility in our lives (and businesses).

So here’s a suggestion – the most powerful relationship we can have is this model:

a) Draw a triangle on a piece of paper
b) Label one corner Self, one corner Others, and one corner Divine (however you define that)
c) Know that the ideal shape of the triangle is one that is equilateral – all sides and angles equal

When we’re connected to Self, Others and the Divine in an equal manner (or at least striving for that), we step completely into our full power and possibility. We see every connection as a pathway to the other connections.

So how come we’d want to have it this way? It all boils down to connection:

· Without connection to our Self, we lack self-awareness that’s so critical to our business and personal success.
· Without connection to Others, we’ll never move beyond a predictable result…we’ll shun the concept of synergy that supports breakthrough results.
· Without connection to the Divine, we throw out our belief of and action motivated by Faith = “the willingness to move forward without any proof or evidence that it will work”.

Here are a few questions to explore this concept further:

1) Where and when do I avoid other people?
2) Where and when do I blame other people or situations for my present circumstances?
3) Where do I give away my power to external factors such as “the economy” or “the industry” or “my prospects”?
4) Where do I depend entirely upon others to move projects forward?
5) What scares me about Divine/Spirit/God/Life/Universe?
6) What’s possible for me if I were connected to all three: Self, Others, Divine?

There’s likely a reason you’re involved in the business, personal and spiritual communities in which you are because you’re seeking connection – connection to results both personally and professionally.

Take some time this week to explore where you’re not connected. Once identified, create some action to get connected. Call up a past business colleague. Call your family. Go to church. Read a book. Meditate. Go out for a few beers with a buddy. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Acknowledge someone. Get a massage.

You’ll be amazed at how connected you really are.

Happy Connection,
-Coach Preston